Political views are rather like underwear, in that when you’re young your parents choose yours for you and you don’t really notice them until you reach an age when you suddenly realise you don’t have any but you really need some sexy ones if you’re going to get laid at all this semester.
Some people leave the house with theirs on outside their ordinary clothes, thinking it make them some kind of hero. Of course, everyone else thinks they’re a twat. Other people don’t have any at all, which they mistakenly think makes them cool but just means that potential lovers performing exploratory clothing excavations are put off when they discover a load of balls a lot sooner than they expected.
Most of the time it’s just assumed you have some, but sometimes you’re best off checking you have some before you take part in your day’s activities. If you’re abseiling, for instance, you probably want to have something on between your tender parts and those special abseiling trousers abseilers sometimes wear (disclaimer: I have no idea if abseilers wear special trousers, although I can’t imagine they don’t), or you could be renting a suit. In the political world, renting a suit is comparable to writing to your MP or congressman, a relatively commonplace activity that some people take part in all the time but others only bother with once in their lifetime. Abseiling, politically speaking, is the going on the protests, the breaking into the banks and stealing the pens on the chains and the hacking of the government websites.
Some people rent special abseiling trousers to go abseiling. This is fine for the new abseiler who wants to try it out, but professionals and those who are going to abseil every weekend will want a really good pair of abseiling trousers of their own. You’re going to spend a lot of time in these trousers, and you want to spend a lot of time making sure you’ve got the best possible trousers you can.
Very few political abseilers own their own special abseiling trousers. Many do, and it’s in their favour that they’re well-cared for and that they’ve shopped around for a really good pair of abseiling trousers, Quite a few political abseilers seem happy not even to bother renting the special abseiling trousers, but go out abseiling wearing only their underwear, oblivious to the fact that if you’re going to go abseiling you need a good pair of abseiling trousers first. If you don’t, at best you’re going to look like an idiot under close scrutiny and at worst you’re going to fall off something and hurt yourself.
The kind of person who goes abseiling with neither special trousers nor underwear is a danger to society and themselves, and yet they’re the ones who always get on the news. This is strange, because they’re the kind of person who thoughtlessly disguise themselves as the 17th Century’s most infamously stupid terrorist because a crap film of a good graphic novel told them it was a good idea. A similar impact to such twattery could be achieved by baking a tray of cupcakes with ‘politics’ written on them.
And that is all you need to know about a) Anonymous and b) the kind of dimwit who refers to all police officers as ‘fascists’.